The Uberrime Splendid: Splendid. It’s Fucking Splendid. What More Can I Say?
The Uberrime Splendid is a dildo that truly lives up to its name. When you say the word “Splendid” out loud, the word tugs a little bit on the corners of your mouth, gently coaxing your lips into a smile when you say it. When I think of the Splendid, I start smiling regardless of if I say its name out loud or not.
The word Splendid, to me, feels like a full, rich word. The dildo Splendid is, in every way, a rich, filling dildo. When I first inserted this dildo, I felt like I had entered another world of luxury and prestige. It was like the first bite of a fantastic dessert at a fancy restaurant. It was the feeling of laying down in a hotel bed with really expensive sheets (based on my imagination of what that would feel like).
It was truly….Splendid……
Anyway, the Uberrime Splendid feels amazing in every single way. The moment it entered me, I knew immediately that it was going to be one of my new favorite dildos. It’s hard to write a review about a dildo when all I really have to say is “fuck yes, I love it,” but I’ll do my best anyway!
Uberrime is a one-man dildo show operating out of Florida, and this “Florida Man” is notorious in a good way. Uberrime is headed by a single master craftsman turning out a museum’s worth of hand-crafted original dildo designs. Uberrime dildos are works of art—they’re gorgeously sculpted, their color schemes are delightful to look at, and most importantly, they deliver fucking fantastically good orgasms.
The Uberrime Splendid (in medium) is just $89 at SheVibe, which is a steal for such a high-quality dual density dildo. For context, other famed dual density dildos (such as my equally beloved Vixen Creations Mustang) often retail for closer to $115. Fortunately, we now live in a world where affordable dual-density dildo options are also becoming available, such as the Blush Novelties Neo Elite dual-density dildo series retailing for around $30.
That being said, though, if you have any ability at all to save up for the Splendid, DO IT. The extra $50 it costs to get a Splendid as opposed to, say, a Neo Elite is worth every fucking penny. Like, yeah the Neo Elite dildos are good, but the Splendid takes you to a level of LUXURY! Treat yourself!
I own the Uberrime Splendid in Medium, although it also is available in large and small options. The medium comes in with a head diameter of 1.67”, an overall diameter of 1.6”, and a length of 6”, although its usable length is listed as being 5.5” on Uberrime’s website. All sizes of the Splendid have a flared, chunky base that make this dildo design safe for anal and an excellent choice for use in a strap-on harness.
The Splendid is a dual-density dildo, meaning it has an outer layer of soft, squishy silicone covering a core of firmer silicone. This is meant to create a more “realistic” feeling, but I don’t care if the feel of this dildo is rooted in fact or fiction. This is an example of “art imitating life,” or whatever.
Like a piece of artwork crafted to evoke technical skill and deep emotion, this dildo has been masterfully crafted to evoke the most pleasure possible while remaining absolutely gorgeous. If the Splendid were found in an art history textbook, it would be beside the entry describing Michelangelo painting God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. That’s how good this is.
Compared to the other dual-density dildos in my collection, the Splendid feels distinctly weightier. It’s hard to describe the exact sensation, but it feels more solid in a way that can’t be explained by its size and shape alone. The Splendid has a matte texture that feels smooth and streamlined, and doesn’t feel as sticky or tacky as my other favorite dual density dildo, the Vixen Creations Mustang. The silicone feels like it flows over every detail, and every aspect of its carefully crafted design ultimately ends up feeling effortless.
The Uberrime Splendid’s Details:
THE HEAD!! HOLY FUCK! THE HEAD!!!
The head is everything I could have ever dreamed of in a dildo. It’s plump, it’s squishy, and the bulbous shape hits all the right places. I have to work myself up a little bit in order to prepare myself to take the relatively girthy Splendid, but it’s so, so worth it.
For context, when I say “relatively girthy,” this is in comparison to the other dildos I have. I am not a size queen (yet?) so I am mostly accustomed to taking dildos with dimensions closer to that of the Vixen Creations Mustang, which is slightly smaller than the Splendid. Additionally, the Mustang’s head is noticeable, but not nearly as pronounced as the mushroom tip of the Splendid.
Because of the large head, the Splendid feels overwhelmingly filling—in a good way—as soon as I insert it. The head of the Splendid delivers that delightful “pop” sensation that I love so much when it’s thrust in and out of my vagina. The head is soft enough to be forgiving, making the insertion of the large head easier. Additionally, the head is shaped in a way so as to be pronounced but not to feel overwhelming.
Directly below the head, the Splendid scoops before cresting into a second raised ridge that provides an additional layer of stimulation. In use, the head and secondary ridge work together to ultimately create a fantastic layered experience. The ridge is just as soft and squishy as the head, and I love how the squish of the secondary ridge stands out against the core.
The Splendid is designed to be relatively abstract, but its outer layer of squishy silicone still incorporates a raised veinlike texture motif. Sometimes, the idea of a “veiny dildo” is executed in a way that prioritizes visual aesthetic over internal sensation. With the Splendid, it feels like each rippling vein was strategically placed to draw out the most pleasure possible from the dildo’s user.
Internally, the texture of the veins feels as gentle as they do powerful. When thrusting, the texture sensation from the veins feels like a gentle, rippling tug. I love the balance of the Splendid’s squishy outer layer against its firm core, and the raised squishy veins create the same delightful layered experience that the secondary ridge beneath the head does.
Instead of standing out as a distinct example of texture, like the ridges on the Tantus Magma for example, the texture of the veins blend in with the greater feeling of the dildo. The veins feel more like a flavor expertly blended into a carefully crafted dessert as opposed to a separate, distinct dish sitting off to the side. The veins do not provide a distinct, isolated experience. Rather, they enhance the overall experience to make it even richer from a sensory angle.
Visually, the veins don’t look like veins bulging from a penis in any realistic sense. When I look at the Splendid up close, the veins look more like rippling water, and blend in perfectly with the dildo’s rich coloration. I have the turquoise, or “pearl aqua” version of the Splendid, and this color makes me feel that I am gazing into a slowly churning tide pool in a mythical fantasy cave when I look at this dildo. Seriously, it’s gorgeous. Just look at the base:
Uberrime Splendid: Performance
The head of the Splendid provides for intense, incredible G-spot stimulation, with the head rubbing against me in a way that seems impossibly targeted. Somehow, the head of this dildo seems to effortlessly land itself in the perfect spot every time. The squishy head of the Splendid remains soft and gentle, yet is also intensely direct and provides laser-targeted stimulation to my G-spot. It’s a truly luxurious feeling.
The shaft of the Splendid also feels incredible in use. The squishy outer layer molds seamlessly to my vagina, and the carefully placed veins work their magic to stimulate my inner walls as I clench around it. Clenching turned out to be my favorite way to use the Splendid. With every clench, the squishy outer layer molds to the movement of my muscles, never fully relenting as a result of the firm core, and then pushes back against me when I relax again. My clenching makes the veined texture gently undulate against my insides, and it feels amazing.
I’m a big fan of clenching on the Splendid, but thrusting feels just as good. The head and the secondary ridge feel so fucking good moving in and out, and the “pop” sensation they deliver is one of my favorite things. The veins that feel so good to clench down on feel just as good moving in and out, and the
The Splendid is a dildo that feels like it works in perfect sync with my body, and I love every minute of using it.
The base of this dildo makes it very well suited for use in a strap-on harness. Because the base is thick and sturdy, it’s also easy for me to maintain a grip on when I’m holding the Splendid in my hand and fucking my partner. Because of the dual-density nature of this dildo, it isn’t at all floppy or limp during strap-on sex. It performs effortlessly, and truly, when using it, I didn’t even really think about how it was performing—because it just WORKED.
A while ago, I had my partner wear a strap-on harness with the Splendid equipped, then climbed onto their lap and rode them. As soon as the Splendid entered me, I just made guttural creature noises and wheezed for like ten minutes, so there’s another shining endorsement of this dildo. I cannot replicate said noises in writing for this review, but you know what they say—a guttural creature wheeze is worth a thousand words.
The only criticism I have is directed at myself for not getting this dildo sooner. Holy fuck.
Well, I suppose I have one more criticism I should point out, although I think it’s something that’s more my fault than the dildo. In some of my pictures, you can see some tiny chunks have been taken out of the base of the Splendid. This is because when I was taking pictures and trying to pick cat hair off of the Splendid, I accidentally picked off a couple tiny bits of silicone as well. Again, I’m pretty sure this is a “me problem” and something that’s my fault, but I’ll bring it up anyway. Mostly, as a clarification to the imperfection in my photo, but also as a warning—be careful if you have to pick cat hair off of this dildo.
Final Thoughts on the Uberrime Splendid:
I absolutely love the Uberrime Splendid. It’s without a doubt one of my favorite dildos now, and everything about it is just perfect. The aesthetic, the texture, the shape, the base—there’s nothing I dislike about it.
If you’re debating whether or not to get this dildo, just do it. You won’t regret it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go off and spend some more time with the Splendid, because writing this review just reminded me of how much I love it.
I purchased the Uberrime Splendid in Medium with my own money and did not receive any compensation for writing this review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.