The Em. Ex. Contour Harness Briefs: A Stylish, Sporty Strap-On
With the two strap-on reviews I’ve written so far for this blog, I feel like I’ve accomplished two of my main goals. I was able to review one of the most popular high-end harnesses (the SpareParts Joque), and more recently I was able to review an amazing budget-friendly option (the Temptasia Harness Briefs by Blush Novelties). Now, I feel like I have the opportunity to sample different strap-ons from a purely aesthetic point. The Sportsheets Em Ex Contour Strap-On Harness Briefs take up a niche in my harness collection that was previously empty: a harness that’s appealing based on the fact that it looks….sexy.
Because I am a bizarre nightmare person, I feel fundamentally weird saying the word “sexy” or expressing the feeling that I might, perhaps, find something sexually appealing, sexually sexy, or whatever. But the Contour Harness Briefs look really fucking hot. I love the Temptasia Harness Briefs for their affordability, their versatility, and their neutral design, but admittedly they don’t really stand out or provoke any strong emotions.
The Contour Harness Briefs, though…they look really fucking good. The thought of my partner wearing them uh, let’s just say I’m a huge fan of the visual. And because I have too many self-esteem issues to find myself personally hot, when I wear the Contour Harness Briefs I can at least look in the mirror and be able to tell myself “well, I don’t hate what I see!” Which, yknow, small victories and all that.
Fit Test and First Impressions:
The Contour Harness Briefs, in my opinion, look objectively better on my partner than me because they fit my partner better. As I’ve mentioned before, my partner is about 2 inches taller than me and 10 pounds lighter than me, but our weight is distributed differently despite the numbers on the scale being pretty close. I carry a lot more of my weight in my hips and thighs, whereas my partner has more of a “runner’s physique.”
My partner had no complaints with the fit of the Contour Harness Briefs, which we had ordered in a size medium. According to the size chart, a medium is recommended for a waist size of 25-28” and a hip size of 36-38”. Looking back, I realize I should’ve taken a second look at the size chart and ordered a large instead, as a large is recommended for a waist size of 28”-31” and a hip size of 39”-41”.
Despite having measurements better suited to a size large, the medium still fit me well enough, it just felt a little tight. I’m not going to be too critical here of the fit, as it’s my own fault for not sizing up. I found it felt tight and that the thick waistband felt like it cut in a little bit and also wanted to roll down at times, and also that the back of it wanted to ride up my ass a little bit, but…again, it was a little too small for me due to my own mistake in ordering.
The Contour Harness Briefs are available in sizes XS (waist 20″-22″, hip 30″-32″) through 3XL (waist 37″-40″, hip 47″-50″).
Ultimately, I cared more about the harness fitting my partner than me, because as soon as I saw the photos of the harness on Betty’s Toy Box I thought “oh…yes I would really love to see this on my partner.” The rich wine red color of it is one of their preferred colors, and I love how it contrasts with the black accents. It feels like it’s made of a fabric somewhat similar to what my binder is made of, and has a smooth and stretchy feel to it. The official fabric composition is 57% polyester, 27% nylon, 15% elastene, and 1% nitrile O-ring.
While the harness was slightly tight on me, overall I would say it was true to the listed measurements and did provide enough wiggle room for me to still be able to comfortably wear it.
Testing Out the Em. Ex. Contour Harness Briefs
My standard process for “testing” a harness isn’t jumping straight to sex. Instead, I put the harness on, then wear it like a regular pair of underwear for a few hours doing all my usual tasks. I feel like this is the best way to assess how it really feels in terms of comfort, how easy it is to move around in, and whether or not it’s prone to riding up my ass or not. Some of the tasks I did during my first wear of the Contour Harness Briefs included doing several loads of laundry (including folding), doing some other household chores that required crouching and squatting, and lazing around in bed and on the couch playing Miitopia for the Switch. Overall, I found that it was very comfortable and easy to move around in, despite it being just a little bit small for me. I’m really sensitive to how clothes feel in terms of texture, how much I can move around in them, and many other factors associated with comfort, so my standards are pretty high for what clothes I can actually tolerate. The Contour Harness Briefs passed the (very high) bar of my standards with flying colors.
Regarding the performance of this harness as a sex accessory as opposed to just pants, I consider it to be an all-around solid pick. I don’t care for the placement of the bullet pockets, but I don’t typically use a harness’s bullet pockets in the first place so this isn’t really a dealbreaker for me. When testing harnesses, I try and use the same dildo every time for the sake of consistency, and my consistent dildo of choice is the Vixen Creations Mustang. It’s my go-to because it’s pretty middle-of-the road in terms of size, so I think it’s a good standard benchmark to reference. It’s also my favorite dildo, so…there’s that, too.
Inserting the Mustang through the O-ring of the Contour Harness Briefs was quick and easy, and it remained secure with no slippage or other issues. The Contour Harness Briefs feel very sturdy and secure, and I never felt like the weight of the dildo was dragging down the harness or making it otherwise difficult to control. During actual sex, the harness never felt like an inconvenience, a discomfort, or a distraction. Instead, it served as both an excellent utilitarian sex accessory as well as a more indulgent visual treat to boost things from an aesthetic perspective.
Why Choose the Em. Ex. Contour Harness Briefs?
The Contour Harness Briefs are $69.99 (but if you type in “IZZY” at checkout you get 10% off!), and I would say they’re definitely worth it if you’re looking to prioritize aesthetic in your strap-on activities. The marketing copy for these suggest that you can subtly wear them while out and about, and while I feel “meh” about the idea of the simpler Temptasia Harness Briefs being worn out and about, it’s a lot more exciting to me imagining the Contour Harness Briefs in such a situation.
As another perk, the black waistband is free of any brand logos, unlike similar harness briefs such as the Rodeoh. So, if you choose to wear these around town, you don’t have to worry about your jeans slipping down and announcing to the world “YES, I AM WEARING SPECIAL SEX PANTS.” While I’ve always been hopelessly weak for hot butches who allow their jeans to ride just low enough to be able to flash the brand name of their boxer briefs (I am shamelessly describing my partner), admittedly there’s a difference between underwear that reads something like “American Eagle” versus “Rodeoh.”
As Mx.ed Reviews describes in their review of the Rodeoh harness briefs, “There’s nothing discreet about the waistband, which has been emblazoned with the Rodeoh logo in bold, gigantic letters. Regardless of where I’m wearing the Brief Harness, I can’t ignore the fact that this thing makes me feel like a walking billboard.” If you prefer not to engage in ass-vertisement, the Contour Harness Briefs are right up your alley.
Overall, I was really excited to welcome the Sportsheets Em. Ex. Contour Harness Briefs into my strap-on harness repertoire for the new dimension of aesthetic hotness they brought to my collection. Not to say that my other harnesses are visually unpleasant, it’s just that the Contour Harness Briefs feel like…something special. Like the special outfit you put on for an event you’ve gotten really hyped up for. In addition to the aesthetic charm, the Contour is also simply an all-around solid strap-on harness that performs very well while maintaining a high level of comfort and ease of movement. I would definitely recommend the Contour if you’re looking for a brief-style strap-on harness that doesn’t skimp on visual appeal.
You can get a pair of Sportsheets Em Ex Contour Harness Briefs of your own at Betty’s Toy Box by clicking here!
Many thanks to the team at Betty’s for giving me the opportunity to review this item—as a disclaimer, I was sent this item in exchange for an honest review, and affiliate links have been used in this post.
“Ass-vertisement” is a phenomenal way to describe it! Capitalism is not one of my kinks, so it’s nice to see a more subtly branded harness option.