Oh, We’re Fancy Now: Reviewing the Womanizer Premium
I feel like several of my recent reviews have followed a theme of trying one toy out and being like, “wow, thanks I hate it,” and then turning my attention to a similar toy in the hopes that it will be better. The Satisfyer Love Triangle was the first air pulse style sex toy I tried, and it was a negative experience for several reasons: unpleasant pulse/vibration sensations, terribly placed buttons, and a design that was completely incompatible with my partner’s anatomy. When I was given the opportunity to review the Womanizer Premium, I felt warily optimistic. I knew Womanizer was supposed to be the best of the best, but…what if the problem with the Satisfyer Love Triangle hadn’t been the triangle, but had actually been me?
The Womanizer Premium is a high-end air pulse style sex toy, clocking in at $199.00. I had heard promising things about it, and Womanizer is essentially the “sibling” of We-Vibe, one of my favorite sex toy brands, as the two brands share the same “parent” company of WOW Tech. My bar of expectations was pretty reasonable, as the main things I wanted to see in this toy were essentially corrections of the last air pulse toy I had tried out. I wanted easy to press, well-placed buttons, I wanted it to actually feel good, and I was also hoping the Womanizer Premium would work for my partner. With a feeling of caution more than anything else, I decided I would allow the Womanizer to….womanize me.
First Impressions of the Womanizer Premium
Following the miserable tone of my previous sentence, the worst part of the Womanizer Premium and the brand as a whole is its terribly unfortunate name. I’m not the first blogger to make this complaint—I think, universally, that the name is cringey at best and alienating/dysphoria inducing at worst. The word “Womanizer” should only exist in the context of Britney Spears’s 2008 hit single. Even if the person who came up with this brand name happened to be a huge Britney fan, Britney herself is asserting in her song that a “womanizer” is not a good thing to be. Listen to her. She’s right.
The gender trouble rears its head again upon opening the manual, where it states that the toy will allow you to “Celebrate your femininity and enjoy yourself.” At least it calls the clitoris a clitoris instead of some nonsense like “precious pearl,” but it’s still annoying. Mercifully, though, aside from this reference, the online product page and the rest of the manual is…fine? I didn’t really notice any other annoyingly gendered marketing. This is great news, as in my opinion (aside from a total name change), Womanizer could easily appease my criticism by changing the aforementioned sentence to read “Celebrate your body and enjoy yourself” (or something similar) instead.
While this brand suffers from the worst combination of tackiness and gender essentialism in its name, I was pleasantly surprised by the color options available for the Womanizer Premium. Instead of being confined to pink and purple options, the Womanizer Premium is available in black, white, red, “blueberry,” and “raspberry”. With raspberry, the obligatory pink is still there, but I honestly really like the raspberry tone, as it feels like a more warm, mature pink to me. I personally chose “blueberry,” but I think all of the color options are really good. I especially appreciate the simplicity of offering the Womanizer Premium in neutral, tasteful black and white. These are the standard color options for cell phones—it makes sense for them to be standard color options for sex toys, too. The black and red color options have gold metallic accents, and the other colors have silver metallic accents. Again, very simple and tasteful. Good job.
I wish so badly that someone had just sat down in the earliest phase of this brand being created, and told the person who came up with the original name, “Hey. Womanizer? Don’t do that.” It’s too late now, as doing an entire brand overhaul would be a nightmare for the company, but it’s really a shame they didn’t pick a different name to begin with. Like, this toy wound up performing so fucking well. It’s a phenomenal toy. And here I am…stuck praising a toy with a name that feels like spoiled milk on my lips.
Something my partner and I both remarked upon opening up the Womanizer Premium was, “wow! This is a really nice box!” All of the packaging for the Womanizer Premium feels high quality and luxurious, which makes me reluctant to throw out the box even though realistically I have no use for it. I also appreciated how the packaging includes safety seal/tamper proof stickers, so you can have the reassurance that no one has messed with the item you’re about to place upon your genitals.
In the box, you get the toy itself, a black magnetic charging cable, an alternate size “small” head in its own sealed packaging (the medium size head is already attached to the toy), and a sleek black storage pouch. The whole unboxing definitely created the luxurious experience that the marketing around the toy is intended to evoke.
As mentioned before, the Womanizer Premium is rechargeable and utilizes a magnetic cord. I found the cable to connect well to the charging prongs on the body of the toy, and I like that the cord is black to help it stand out from my other sex toy charging cables, which are mostly all white. I think the black also gives a classier overall impression.
The LED light display on the toy conveniently indicates its charging status when the toy is connected to a power source. If only the lower LED is blinking, the battery is almost out of charge. If the lower and middle LED lights are steadily on, the battery is half charged. When the battery is fully charged, all three LED lights on the toy will be lit up.
Controls and Smart Silence:
I found the controls for the Womanizer Premium to be very straightforward and intuitive. Switching it on requires that you press and hold the power button, after which it comes to life on the lowest intensity setting. When you turn it on, Smart Silence(TM) will automatically be enabled, meaning that the toy won’t do anything unless it is in contact with the surface of your skin. We-Vibe and Womanizer belong to the same parent company—WOW Tech—so I was familiar with the concept of SmartSilence(TM) from my time spent with the Wand by We-Vibe. While I didn’t really enjoy SmartSilence(TM) on the Wand, I found that it felt really natural and worked really well in the context of the Womanizer Premium. However, if you’re still not interested in SmartSilence(TM), this feature can be deactivated by holding down the + and – buttons simultaneously.
The Womanizer Premium has 12 intensity settings altogether, which are controlled by the + and – buttons. This is referred to as “manual mode,” and all three lights on the LED display will be lit up on this setting. I felt like the buttons were really well placed and easy to press, and the toy as a whole feels quite pleasant to hold from an ergonomic standpoint. The toy was a little larger than I expected it to be, but it was also significantly more lightweight than I expected it to be.
The last button on the Womanizer Premium is a small squiggle button that’s somewhat isolated from the + and – buttons (which is good, as it prevents any accidental pressing). This button controls the “AutoPilot” mode, which is the Womanizer Premium’s version of a patterns setting. AutoPilot is essentially a randomized pattern that fluctuates between three different categories of intensity: soft, medium, and intensive. When you initially press the AutoPilot button, you’ll start out on soft mode. Pressing the + button once takes you up to medium mode, and pressing the + button again bumps you up to intensive mode. The LED display allows you to see which mode you’re currently in, with soft mode having one LED light illuminated, medium having two, and intensive having three. To exit AutoPilot, you just press the button for it again and you return to the toy’s manual mode.
Lollipop, Must Mistake Me You’re the Sucker:
Borrowing a Britney lyric for this subheading, a common misconception about the Womanizer line of toys as well as other air pulse style sex toys is that they’re “suction” toys. This admittedly is way easier to say in conversation and for the sake of brevity, but the Womanizer isn’t quite a true “suction” toy. True suction toys are more in the line of things like clit pumps, penis pumps, etc.
The official branding for the Womanizer’s style of stimulation is “Pleasure Air Technology,” and according to the website product description, “gentle air vibrations suck and massage together to provide an unprecedented orgasmic feeling.” So there’s SOME sucking involved, but it’s not the kind of sucking that provokes the raw fear in me that the word “suction” does—which, in my mind, involves a vacuum cleaner nozzle getting stuck on my genitals. The other sensation involved is “air pulse,” which is like…imagine someone aggressively puffing in your face. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of like the air pump you fill up your tires with at the gas station. There’s still…SOME suction feeling involved?? I don’t know, it really is hard to describe unless you actually feel it for yourself. That being said, it absolutely is a unique and distinct sensation.
Using the Womanizer Premium:
In order to get the Womanizer Premium to work, you have to approach it from a targeted angle. Since most of my masturbation tends to involve more fumbling around and grinding to see what works, the Womanizer Premium was a little bit of a foreign technique for me. To use it correctly, you have to spread open your labia and carefully place the nozzle of the toy over your clitoris so that it ensconces it as closely as possible. It reminds me a little bit of my old job, which required me to wear a respirator—to make sure it was sealed correctly, we were subjected to “fit tests,” in which an unpleasant aerosol was wafted in front of us. If you were the unlucky fool who was sent into an irritated coughing fit or a state of pure repulsion from the bitter taste (depending on which aerosol was used), it meant your respirator wasn’t correctly fitted and you had to get it adjusted. Fortunately, the fit test for the Womanizer Premium isn’t as involved.
In order to try and accommodate a broader user base (who are all, unfortunately, still labeled as women to be womanized by the Womanizer), the Womanizer Premium comes with two different sizes of stimulator head, labeled as “M” and “S.” It’s a little confusing to me that the Premium model wouldn’t also include a “large” size head, as I expect a toy labeled as “Premium” to come with every possible bell and whistle. A larger nozzle would be particularly beneficial for anyone who has a larger clit, such as someone who’s experienced “bottom growth” due to taking testosterone, but…I’m not surprised that this demographic wasn’t considered when designing a toy called the “Womanizer.” It’s a shame, though, because theoretically an external only sex toy is in theory a great option for anyone who prefers to abstain from penetration due to dysphoria…and yet, the gender essentialist naming just smashes a baseball bat into the knees of this possibility.
In my own household, the concern wasn’t that anyone’s clit would be too big to use this toy. Rather, the concern was that the Womanizer Premium would fail to correctly encompass and stimulate my partner’s smaller, more buried clit. While I could begrudgingly orgasm with the Satisfyer Love Triangle, the shape of its nozzle meant that it couldn’t do anything at all for my partner except make them feel bored as their time was wasted. I consider myself to be pretty dead average in terms of clit size, so I expected that the “M” size attachment would be the one best suited for me, but I was hopeful that the “S” size would be able to make this toy work for my partner.
My Experience with the Womanizer Premium:
The Womanizer Premium really slurped my gurt, if you know what I mean. I’m envisioning a Go-Gurt in my mind’s eye, but analogies aside, this toy absolutely restored my faith in air pulse, suction, whatever you want to call it the sensation is fucking incredible. I now understand what the Love Triangle was trying to copy, and just how badly it failed at copying it.
I found that the “M” size attachment worked just fine with my clit, and while it was kind of weird to go through the mechanical steps of spread labia, place on clit, turn toy on, and wait, the toy sure did work exactly like it said. The buttons to adjust the intensity were well placed and I didn’t have any trouble locating them or feeling them out during use. Controlling the toy was easy and it felt really lightweight and natural to hold. I expected it to be smaller, as I mentioned before, but I think that the length of the Womanizer Premium’s handle is perfect in terms of how easy it is to hold and control when using the toy.
The Auto Pilot feature was a waste of time, which is often how I feel about pattern settings/automized “smart settings” on toys in general. But, the Auto Pilot is just one optional feature that doesn’t super matter in the long run. I didn’t expect to enjoy it, so it’s not surprising or devastating to me that I wound up not enjoying it.
The toy comes to life at its lowest out of twelve settings when you first turn it on, and while the intensity is faint, it’s still noticeable. Despite being the lowest setting, it’s nowhere near as weak and pitiful as the lowest setting on the Satisfyer Love Triangle was, which felt about as stimulating as laying on my bed, spreading my legs, and letting my ceiling fan circulate air over my clit. On the Womanizer Premium, the lowest setting is a cautious warmup, and the range of intensity settings is extremely well suited to allowing the user to make small, incremental steps. It didn’t feel like any of the settings were a dramatic leap in intensity from the previous setting, meaning that at no point did pressing “+” ever feel jarring or unpleasant.
As I progressed to the higher and higher intensity settings, I understood immediately why air pulse toys, namely the Womanizer Premium, have been so thoroughly praised. I understood the comparison to oral sex, too. While nothing can fully imitate or replicate the feeling of actual oral sex, the Womanizer Premium does replicate the “holyshitohmygod” overwhelming feeling associated with oral sex. This is usually a good thing, but can also kind of be a bad thing.
When I’m in the zone, hyped and ready to go, the Womanizer Premium delivers fucking incredible, amazing, holy shit, holy fuck, oh my god orgasms. The air pulse sensations of the Womanizer Premium are so rich, so intense, and are what I’ve read other reviewers describe as “thuddy” or “thumpy.” I get it! I absolutely get it now! The sensations of the Womanizer Premium go past surface level and deep into the whole clitiroscientificvulvavaginalurethralholyfuck complex and result in deep, extremely fulfilling orgasms. When I’m in the right mindset for the Womanizer Premium, the sensations are amazing, the orgasms are amazing, and I absolutely love it.
However, my greatest weakness when masturbating is my own mind. If I’m not in the right mood for whatever mindset—if I’m distracted, if I’m too tired, if I’m hungry, if I’m grumpy—the Womanizer Premium doesn’t do well with me. Sometimes, it takes me a long time to orgasm, and it feels easier to work around the time factor when using other sex toys. However, due to the air pulse/somewhat suction element of the Womanizer Premium, if I take too long to orgasm, my clit swells up too much and becomes overstimulated to the point of being painful.
See, when using vibrators, I often protect my actual clit by stimulating the area surrounding my clit instead, and I often use my clitoral hood/labia as a buffer to protect against overstimulation. However, since the Womanizer Premium is designed for all clit all the time, it isn’t as easy to manage a buffer effect, and so I have less protection against feeling overstimulated. Because of this, a masturbation session with the Womanizer Premium that starts off “meh” often can’t be salvaged, and instead I have to reconcile with an achy clit and no orgasm to show for it.
Masturbation and sexual pleasure, unfortunately, rely a lot on what’s in your head. No matter how amazing or high quality or powerful or intense a vibrator is, it can’t always push past a mental block that’s preventing an orgasm. If my brain is delaying an orgasm from happening, my genitals unfortunately can only hold out hope for so long before they completely reject any stimulation because “ow what the fuck that hurts leave me alone.” When I’m in the zone, the Womanizer Premium is amazing and feels incredible and I love it. However, because it targets the clit so intensely, it’s prone to causing overstimulation if I’m struggling to get in the mood. To an extent you can “power through it,” but then it feels like an orgasm someone ripped out of my chest like my still-beating heart, which I…don’t love as a general feeling.
My Partner’s Experience with the Womanizer Premium:
Due to unforeseen circumstances, my partner has actually been out of town the past few weeks I’ve been testing the Womanizer Premium and is sadly going to continue to be out of town for the weeks to come, so…they haven’t been able to have an experience with this toy (or any other items) yet. There’s nothing bad going on, don’t worry! There’s just some Life Stuff happening right now and their ability to serve as a bonus tester for my blog has been placed on the back burner for the time being.
I was torn between whether or not I should wait for them to be available again (which would mean delaying reviews) or if I should just go ahead and post now. I figured, by posting now I’ll still be able to get the bulk of the review out there and published, and I can always come back and edit this post (or make a separate post entirely) in the future.
Apologies for anyone who was really holding out for the alternate clit opinion this blog usually is able to offer, but keep an eye on my Twitter for updates!
Final Thoughts on the Womanizer Premium:
The Womanizer Premium is marketed and known as being an absolute luxury, the “best of the best” in terms of air pulse style toys. Everything about the toy signals luxury—from the careful details on the packaging as well as the toy itself, the feel of the silicone, the tasteful colors, and of course the incredible stimulation this toy delivers. It’s expensive, but while the budget-friendly Satisfyer Love Triangle left me questioning if I liked air pulse stimulation at all, the high-quality Womanizer Premium assured me that yes, yes I do. I definitely do.
The Womanizer Premium feels amazing to me when I’m hyped up and in the mood for sex/masturbation/having an orgasm in general. The combination of air pulsations/suction/witchcraft feels extremely fucking good, and delivers intense, incredible orgasms that radiate throughout my uh, entire physical and mental existence and leave me feeling truly fulfilled. Unfortunately, because the Womanizer Premium requires that you use it in a very set, very specific way that directs intense attention to the clitoris, my experience has been that the toy can leave me feeling overstimulated if I’m experiencing any mental blocks to having an orgasm.
When it’s good, it’s fucking amazing. But when it’s bad, it makes my clit hurt from overstimulation. That being said, I really have to emphasize how “WHEN IT’S GOOD, IT IS FUCKING! AMAZING!” Overall I really liked this toy, and I’m so glad that Womanizer/WOW Tech gave me the opportunity to test this toy out and write a review.
You can get a Womanizer Premium of your own by clicking the link here!
Disclaimer: I received this toy in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.