My genitals when trying to use the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator

Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator Review

The Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator Put My Genitals in A Death Grip and I Hated It

It’s as the title says, my friends! I think this is the first toy I’ve reviewed that I’ve really HATED since starting this blog. The Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t work at all with my body, and frankly, I’m not sure whose body it would work with.

The external arm is designed in a way that’s cumbersome as fuck and almost impossible to move around once it’s locked down on your clitoris. If you want your clitoris encased in a vice grip, this might be the perfect vibrator for you—especially if you like buzzy vibrations!

I hope you can tell my tone is dripping with sarcasm, because I don’t recommend this vibrator to anyone.

For more of my irritated rambling, read on!

Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator on a leopard background

Key Features:

  • Insertable length: 3.75”
  • Total length: 8”
  • Width: 1.5”
  • Vibration speeds: 3
  • Pattern settings: 4
  • Rechargeable, utilizes magnetic USB charger
  • Fully waterproof

Packaging:

The packaging is relatively minimalist. It comes in a black box with a full window that allows you to view the toy, which would be great in the context of a brick-and-mortar retailer. The box has a lot of good informative details about the toy and covers all of its main features. When you open the box, there are two smaller boxes inside the box and behind the toy. One holds the charger and the other holds the instruction manual. To me, this seems like a waste of cardboard, but whatever. It’s their packaging budget.

Packaging for the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator

Controls:

The controls absolutely suck ass. There are two buttons: a plus and a minus button. These buttons are indistinguishable from each other, like I could NOT tell the difference between the two in use. I also felt like I had to press pretty hard to get them to respond. They remain backlit when the toy is on, which is nice, but even that didn’t make them easier to use.

Also, regarding the backlight, only ONE of them will stay brightly lit up? It depends on whichever one you pressed most recently, which doesn’t fucking make sense to me. If you pressed the plus button to change a setting, the plus button will stay lit up. If you last pressed the minus button, the minus button will stay lit up.

Positioning the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator for use

To turn it on, you press and hold the plus button. For what feels like an ETERNITY. When turning it on, it takes so long to respond that there’s a feeling of doubt and questioning, “Uhhh is this thing even GOING to turn on?” I counted out loud, and it takes a full four Mississippi seconds (counting aloud, “one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi…”) to turn on and a full four Mississippi seconds to turn off.

The toy is turned off by pressing and holding the “minus” button, but that minus button also takes you to the previous setting. Because of this, there’s no way to turn it off without it reverting to the previous setting. The combination of this control forcing you to revert to the previous setting while simultaneously taking so long to shut off is NOT a good combination. Usually after orgasming, I prefer toys to shut off quickly so as not to experience painful overstimulation. The Jessica Rabbit Hop does not allow you to do this.

The Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator, Featuring A Vice Grip:

The argument against this complaint could be “Well, just remove the toy from your genitals!” Yeah, but…that’s easier said than done, given the way the Hop Jessica Rabbit is designed. The external arm of this toy fucking sucks, and I hate it. It clamps down and basically locks the toy in place, making removal more difficult than it needs to be. With insertable vibrators, I usually prefer to shut them off, then gradually ease them out of me. Because the Hop Jessica Rabbit takes so long to shut off, this isn’t a real option. Instead, I have to yoink the vibrator out of me. But yoinking it is hard because this vibrator CLAMPS!!! WHY!!!

At the time of writing this review, I only owned one other rabbit style vibrator, the Svakom Alice. The external arm on the Alice is super flexible and easily moves with my body. There’s plenty of clearance between the external and internal arms, and it’s easy to bend the external arm of the Alice back with just a gentle press of the finger. While I expected a new rabbit vibrator would be an upgrade from my old one, IT WAS, IN FACT, WORSE.

The Hop Jessica Rabbit does NOT like to bend back. At all. I have to really press to get it to yield, and you HAVE to move the external arm of the Hop Jessica Rabbit back in order to use it in the first place. There is SO LITTLE CLEARANCE between the internal and external arms and I HATE IT. It makes inserting the internal shaft/body of the vibrator really difficult, because no matter what, the external arm is bonking into my pubic mound.

A stuffed Marill Pokemon plush toy in a neutal state. Representation of my genitals before using the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator
Representation of my genitals before using the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator.

Using A Vibrator That Doesn’t Want To Work With Your Body:

When maneuvering the Hop Jessica Rabbit, I had to reach down with my fingers and LIFT UP the external arm, reposition it on my clitoris/vulva, and then cope with it being stuck there. In theory, you can use the external arm for pinpoint stimulation if you want to just put a reduced amount of the internal portion into you, but what’s the fucking point of that?

With the Alice, I loved that the external arm moved seamlessly with however I wanted to move the vibrator. Thrusting was a no brainer, and it was also easy to move the external arm around to stimulate my clit. The Hop Jessica Rabbit? NOPE. You have to make a COMMITMENT to where you put the external arm, because it’s not going to fucking budge. In one sense, it completely encapsulated my clit, but even then…only KIND OF.

A stuffed Marill Pokemon plush toy being clamped between the external and internal arms of the vibrator. The Marill's face is being smushed by the vibrator and it looks like it's in visible discomfort. My genitals when trying to use the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator
My genitals when trying to use the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator.

My clit is relatively well exposed, but because the external arm is so unyielding, it smushed my outer labia beneath it. I usually like to wedge things like bullet vibrators and the external arm of the Alice rabbit BETWEEN my outer labia, so then they’re nicely tucked in against my clit. The external arm of the Hop Jessica Rabbit is way too big, bulky, and uncooperative to do this. I can’t even imagine how impossible using this toy would be if I had a more prominent pubic mound. Like, what anatomy is this toy even fucking designed for?

My partner’s quote: “It’s like they created it…for one person’s vagina.” Yeah, not fucking either of ours! My partner hated this toy just as much as I did, which goes to show it’s not just me being grumpy and biased about it.

Other Design Comments, Including Structural Integrity Concerns for the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator:

As for the internal arm…it’s okay? I guess? It’s pretty firm. It went in fine. The tip is tapered/pointed, but this didn’t really do anything for me one way or another. The silicone on the toy is smooth so it glides easily enough, but it’s super cumbersome to try and thrust this toy or really move it at all because the external arm is so goddamn uncooperative.

Speaking of the silicone, my partner pointed out that at the junction where the external arm meets the main internal arm, the silicone looks like it’s on the verge of tearing when the external arm is bent away from the main body of the vibrator. Since you HAVE to move the external arm away from the main body just to USE this toy, I don’t think this bodes very well for the future longevity of this vibrator.

Junction of internal and external arm on Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator

Additionally, at the base of the vibrator, where the silicone joins to the hard white plastic portion where the charging connector is located, the silicone is not connected very well at all to the plastic. The silicone already seems to be detaching from the plastic, and this vibrator has NOT been used excessively or handled carelessly. It’s just…poorly constructed.

Close up of where the silicone and plastic meet on the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator

Vibrations:

I think the vibrations are pretty surface level and buzzy. I don’t like holding this toy in my hand because it starts to feel tingly and irritated from the vibrations pretty quickly. In use, the vibrations got me off because they are strong, even if they’re not of a very good quality. Even the lowest intensity is still relatively strong. But, the vibrations felt like they only were able to deliver a shallow, surface level orgasm. Not to mention the vibrator’s design made it so unpleasant to use that having an orgasm felt like a blissful reprieve, not a fulfilling experience of any kind.

Patterns/Settings:

First setting: Lowest intensity vibration
Second setting: Medium intensity vibration
Third setting: High intensity vibration
Fourth setting: Pattern, Starts off at a low intensity rapid pulse, then climbs up to a high intensity rapid pulse.
Fifth setting: Steady pulse
Sixth setting: Rapid pulse
Seventh setting: one, two, three, FOUUUUR, one, two, three, FOUUUUUR (three steady pulsations followed by a longer pulsation)

I don’t really have anything positive or negative to say about the patterns or vibration settings. Nothing about them really stands out, they’re pretty average. The patterns are executed well enough so as not to be horrible, stupid, or annoying, so I suppose that’s a plus. However, the vibration quality is never really what I would like it to be, so the vibrator as a whole is only so enjoyable. Plus, again, the fucking external arm makes this toy next to impossible to use.

My Partner’s Assessment of the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator:

Here’s what my partner had to say about this vibrator:

“Overall, this toy was boring and too buzzy. The first and second settings felt worlds apart in terms of strength—the first setting was just boring, but the second setting felt like three leaps away from the first, especially if you only have it on your clit. When the vibrator is on the third setting and placed just on your clit, it’s just…NO.”

“I think the shape of it might fit me a little better than it fit you, since it didn’t feel like it hurt or was clamping down on me, but I did still have to lift the external arm in order to position it. Because my clit is so small, though, it didn’t even reach it. It just buzzed the zone in between my clit and vaginal opening. At least with the Svakom Alice I could force the external arm to hit my clit, but there’s no way I can do it with this toy since it’s basically got a 30 degree angle going on. Ultimately I just wound up using this toy externally, and didn’t find it very enjoyable.”

My fingers being clamped by the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator
My fingers being clamped by the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator.

Price:

Full disclosure, I originally purchased the Hop Jessica Rabbit vibrator from Peepshow Toys on Black Friday, when it was marked down to $22.49. The first one I got was defective, so I had to send it back to Blush Novelties and get a replacement per the manufacturer warranty. I had to pay shipping to send it back so let’s just say this toy cost me $30. I’m not thrilled to have spent $30 on a toy I hate, but it’s not the end of the world.

However, this toy’s regular retail price on Peepshow Toys is $74.99. I did some poking around at other websites this toy is sold, and holy fuck, the standard retail price for this toy EVERYWHERE I LOOKED was between $70 to $90. FOR THIS??? Holy FUCK, this toy is not worth that much. If I had spent a full $75 on this toy I would have been FURIOUS given how much I dislike it.

Not to mention, quality-wise it’s nowhere NEAR being worth $75 fucking dollars. Like okay, yes, it’s all body-safe silicone, but you can get a way better body-safe silicone vibrator for way less than $75. They may not be rabbits, but I recommend instead spending $50 on either the Pillow Talk Sassy or Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine, and then using your leftover $25 to buy literally anything else.

Final Thoughts on the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator:

The description Blush Novelties has on their website for this toy says “Experience the Jessica Rabbit yourself: she’s not bad, she’s just made that way.” The description is true—this toy IS made badly. I pity the cartoon character this toy is named after, as the real Jessica Rabbit doesn’t deserve to be associated with it. After all, the real Jessica Rabbit never trapped my clitoris in an uncomfortable, annoyingly buzzy vice grip. I’m glad I only paid $30 for this toy, but I would have been fucking furious if I had paid its average full standard retail price of ~$75.

This toy has strong vibrations, but they’re too buzzy to really be enjoyable. The silicone is smooth and nice to touch, as well as being body-safe, but the way the toy is designed puts a strain on the silicone at key junctions. The external arm on this toy is a fucking disaster, and makes it cumbersome, inconvenient, and dissatisfying to use. If it were just an average $30 strong-but-buzzy vibrator, that would be fine, but the external arm just really makes this whole toy infuriatingly bad. I absolutely do not recommend this toy and suggest you spend your money on something else. However, if you do really want to buy this toy, you can find it at SheVibe.

Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator

Disclaimer: I purchased the Blush Novelties Hop Jessica Rabbit Vibrator with my own money. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

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