The Tantus They/Them is Comfy as Fuck

I’ve been trying to think of the best way to start off a review for the Tantus They/Them, and I keep coming back to one phrase in my mind: comfy. 

That’s it! This dildo is just plain comfy!

I own the They/Them in the “Rockabilly Blue” color, and this makes it feel even more like the perfect lazy weekend dildo–it’s the color of your favorite Sunday jeans, the kind that are loose, baggy, soft, and basically pajamas at this point. 

I don’t know much about Taylor Swift, but it seems like her new album is trying to market a comfy aesthetic, where she wears a lot of soft cardigans.

This dildo feels like that. It’s comfy, it’s approachable, and it’s eeeeeeeeasy like Sundaaaaaaay mooooooorning.

Tantus They/Them Dildo Design:

The They/Them is a somewhat unusual dildo because its design introduces a shorter overall length paired with a solid, substantial overall girth. When some friends of mine in a Discord server first saw it, their knee jerk reaction was “CHODE!!!! CHODE DILDO!!!”. While the word “chode” is really gross to me, I think the They/Them has the ability to make chodes…charming…

Texture:

One of the things I love the most about the They/Them is its texture. Holy shit. I can’t stop thinking about the texture–it’s so soft, it’s so squishy, that when you squeeze it in your hand it even squelches out of your grip a little bit, like a snack from the Gripping Food with Force Twitter.

The They/Them is a single-density dildo, and it feels much less realistic when compared to dual-density dildos like the VixSkin Mustang. I wouldn’t necessarily call this less realistic feeling a detriment, though, I would simply call it a certain dildo for a certain mood. This texture is a result of the They/Them being made from Tantus’s “100% Ultra-Premium Super Soft Silicone.” Compared to the Tantus Curve, a dildo I own in Tantus’s standard rating of silicone, the They/Them is noticeably squishier.

This may be an odd point to make in a sex toy review, but I have also found that the They/Them is also pretty nice for alleviating back pain if you have your partner slap it against your sore spots. It’s soft, but it’s got a really nice weight to it and still remains firm despite its softness. (let me live, I’m old and my back hurts all the time)

Visuals:

Looking at the They/Them visually, I mentioned in the first paragraph how much I enjoy the coloring of this dildo. I only own the “Rockabilly Blue” variety, but it’s also available in pink and white. I like how it looks like a bright, blue, glittery galaxy, which is a subtle feature that you can only fully appreciate when looking at it up close. I also greatly appreciate that the They/Them doesn’t look overwhelmingly realistic.

There is some subtle detailing, as it has a simple head and some faint, tasteful veining on the shaft. Its overall design is very simple, and in use it doesn’t deliver much textural sensation, although the shape of its head delivers a satisfying feeling that I usually refer to as a “pop” when it enters and exits my vagina. If you’re someone who gets overwhelmed by too much texture in a dildo, the They/Them would be a good pick for you. 

Tantus They/Them Performance: 

The They/Them is easy to insert after a short warmup with a couple fingers, and I find it a good dildo to start off with if I intend on working up to something larger later. It excels at creating a feeling of fullness without overwhelming the orifice it’s inserted into. 

Compared to many other dildos on the market, the They/Them is quite a bit shorter, measuring in at 5.5” total with 5” of insertable length. This removes the problem of getting my cervix bonked during penetration, and also removes the problem of me bonking my partner’s cervix while penetrating them with a dildo. Trust me, the only thing worse than having your own cervix bonked is how terrible it feels to bonk your partner’s cervix if your hand happens to slip or you get too overzealous during intercourse. 

Returning to the topic of fullness, with a diameter of 1.6” I find that the They/Them fulfills my wish to feel stuffed with something sizable during sex without causing the pain that lengthier dildos can sometimes cause for me when in pursuit of this full feeling. 

Criticism: A Not So Great Base 

The They/Them is great for penetration and from my experience performs well in a strap on harness, but I really wish it had a thicker/wider base for gripping. If the They/Them had a more robust base, I think it could be me and my partner’s perfect dildo, since it’s their favorite to be penetrated with from an overall feel standpoint. 

As for me, well, I have bad wrists that hurt all the time. When I’m using my hands to hold the They/Them, I find that I wear out faster than I do when holding other dildos due to the way I have to grip it. The base is relatively thin, and since the dildo itself is so short, I can’t grip any length of the dildo itself to use as a backup. Because the base is so thin, it’s hard to maintain a grip that feels natural or stable. It also feels harder to control the dildo in use. 

The They/Them’s base may not fully suit the needs of my wrists, but the base is sufficiently sized to make it safe for use in anal sex. However, my partner and I don’t engage in anal sex activities, so I can’t speak to anything anal related from personal experience. 

This dildo can be safely inserted either vaginally or anally, and performs well in a harness. However, if you need a dildo you can really get a good grip on, the They/Them may not be for you. I personally find it one of the more difficult dildos in our collection to hold onto and utilize steadily when I’m having a bad wrist day. 

Final Thoughts on the Tantus They/Them:

As a whole, I can very solidly recommend the Tantus They/Them as a dildo for people who prefer less length while maintaining a solid girth, and who enjoy a softer, squishier texture. However, I don’t know if I would recommend it as a starter dildo, since it is designed to cater to a more specific niche given its short, stubby size. 

My partner and I have found the They/Them to be an excellent addition to our collection. In my partner’s opinion, the They/Them is their favorite dildo out of all the ones we own. I also very much enjoy this dildo, and if I didn’t already own it, it would be at the top of my wishlist.

You can get a Tantus They/Them of your own here directly from Tantus, or here from SheVibe!

Controversy Surrounding the They/Them???

The They/Them had some controversies when it first came out surrounding its naming and marketing campaign…check out my post here for my thoughts and analysis on the 2018 CONTROVERSY surrounding the TANTUS THEY/THEM…!!! 

Disclaimer: I purchased the Tantus They/Them with my own money. Affiliate links have been used in this post.