An Introduction to Satisfyer:

Alright, so fair warning: this post is over 5,000 words long. I didn’t expect to write that much, but it turned out I had a LOT to say! In short, Satisfyer is a company known for making affordable sex toys that are heavily “inspired” by existing designs. I was curious about Satisfyer’s overall marketing strategy after receiving the Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine and noticing the packaging for the toy was covered in drawings of abstract sexy women.

“Hmm…seems like this company might be a little sexist,” I thought to myself.

And oh boy, after spending some time on their website, it turns out this company is OVERFLOWING with heteronormative, sexist, and unnecessarily gendered language.

Do you want to read about me criticizing a company with a “non-binary” philosophy that uses the words “men” and “women” at every possible moment, without a they/them pronoun in sight? Do you want to read about “precious pearls” and “massaging your manhood” and a “sexy remote control”?

If so, you’re in for a treat!

Satisfyer’s Brand Mission Statement:

On the main page of the Satisfyer website, INITIALLY it seems like things will be off to a decent start. The photos of their models feature a relatively diverse range of people, especially when you click through the different product categories. There isn’t any sexualized imagery, and the product photos are no-nonsense, clear images of the actual sex toy being sold.

But….after scrolling past the images on the main landing page, you get to the brand mission statement at the bottom. You know, the “this is our company and this is who we are.” Satisfyer begins this mission statement by announcing that we’re in the age of the “LOVE-TOY REVOLUTION!” Which IMMEDIATELY makes me want to barf.

Like, you HAVE to call it a “love-toy”??? Please! Just call it a sex toy! I am not purchasing a vibrator with the intent of having a loving emotional connection with it! It’s a piece of plastic/silicone! It is not a companion! I do not love it! I am seeking SEXUAL GRATIFICATION from this object, which is why it’s a SEX TOY!

Anyway, the statement then says “Forget the times when women or men had to be embarrassed to own a vibrator or a dildo,” which is funny for Satisfyer to assert, considering they’re apparently still too embarrassed to label their products as “sex toys.” They also fluff their own feathers saying that “One brand, in particular, has stood out from the great mass of products for many years.”

Me, Getting Off Topic and Researching the History of Satisfyer:

These claims sounded questionable to me, so I did a little research. As far as I knew, Satisfyer wasn’t a brand I associated with “standing out for many years.” I found an XBiz article with some more information on the subject, and was able to clarify that Satisfyer was founded as a German company in 2006. During my research, I learned another fun fact for me personally—apparently, the owner or Satisfyer’s parent company, EIS GmbH, was involved with the sex toy brand Ovo. One of my first body-safe sex toys was the Ovo F3, and while I threw out this toy years ago, I do still remember the name.

Anyway, Satisfyer as a brand only entered the U.S. market in 2016, and had taken steps to expand within Europe prior to targeting the U.S. Satisfyer is probably best known for their initial signature toy, the Satisfyer Pro 1, which has taken on many new forms since the first model was initially introduced. The Satisfyer Pro, of course, is a rip-off design of the Womanizer.

Satisfyer vs. Womanizer, and Other Copycat Notes:

Jerome Bensimon, Satisfyer’s VP of Sales, explains in an interview with Synergy Magazine that the Satisfyer Pro 1 was developed because, “the Womanizer company did not want to sell to our owner’s online business in Germany.” Bensimon explains that the owner of Satisfyer hired engineering companies and patent lawyers in order to develop their own version of the Womanizer, which ultimately proved to be extremely successful.

I’m…mostly including this for context. Reading this, my main impression is “okay, fair enough,” because if a company won’t sell product to you, it makes sense to develop your own product. And ultimately, patent lawyers know more than me about what constitutes a rip-off, so…alright, whatever.

But the defense of “oh, we had to make our own design of this toy because we’re stuck in Germany and this company wouldn’t sell to us” falls COMPLETELY apart when you look at Satisfyer’s second big rip-off: a line of vibrators that are almost EXACT copies of Fun Factory’s vibrators. Because Fun Factory…(dramatic suspenseful music)….is ALSO GERMAN! You’re just copying them to copy them!

Like, ultimately I GET IT and I do like that Satisfyer’s designs are really affordable alternatives to high-end vibrators like Fun Factory. I would rather there be more safe, good quality vibrators available to more people at a lower price point. But Satisfyer also spends a lot of time in their mission statement talking about the “various design and innovation awards” they’ve been given, which is like…come on, this wasn’t an idea you came up with on your own. You still cheated off someone’s homework, even if you changed the answers a little bit.

I also think it’s funny that Satisfyer says the following:

“2020 is the time for the next phase of the sexual wellness revolution: our app toys are about to launch and will give you a completely new way to control your toy. Vibrations to the beat of music, or your partner controlling the toy via the smartphone, no matter where you are? This is no longer science fiction in 2020, but erotic reality that has come true thanks to Satisfyer’s app toys.”

Okay, look, this hasn’t been science fiction for several years. Epiphora reviewed an (admittedly, very bad) toy, the “OhMiBod,” that did the “vibrations to the beat of music” thing in 2009. We-Vibe introduced their first app-controlled vibrator in 2014—admittedly, not without data collection problems discovered in 2016 and a resulting 2017 lawsuit—but still, they did it. These things have been around for YEARS. Satisfyer, you are not the one “making science fiction reality in 2020.” It’s been done already!

Back on Track to the Brand Mission Statement…What Does Satisfyer Say They Can Do for Men and Women?

Anyway, Satisfyer of course patented their own version of the suction technology Womanizer originally came up with, and this is the main angle they sell themselves from.

In their mission statement, they assert:

“Thanks to Air Pulse Technology, modern women can from now on decide utterly for themselves whether and how to get an orgasm.”

Ah yes, because no ~woman~ has ever been able to figure out her own body before??? This isn’t even an argument! There are SO MANY records and depictions of ancient dildos and masturbation techniques. Even if a woman was busy gathering berries or stitching needlepoint or whatever she could still “decide utterly for herself” if she wanted an orgasm or not. It’s not like there was a technological barrier that had been in place preventing women from ever having a goddamn orgasm. People figured it out! But no, Satisfyer is the gently guiding force that has finally taught us poor foolish little women how to make a decision about an orgasm. 

Meanwhile, for the men:

“Men’s hearts are also set racing by the Satisfyer. With our Satisfyer brand, we have created special love and lifestyle toys for the modern man’s world that are explicitly geared to men’s needs: high-tech masturbators with a special design that use an inbuilt thermal motor to simulate body temperature, generate vibrations and thereby convey a never-before experienced feeling of realistic love play – using your hand is so yesterday.”

I like the subtle sexism that men need “high-tech masturbators.” Because technology is still for the boys, amirite? Also, “realistic love play” makes me want to vomit and if some guy is living his best life jackin’ it with his hand, let him! Don’t call him outdated, he doesn’t deserve that. If he wants to try out a sex toy, that’s not because he’s realized he’s “so yesterday,” like! He just wants to try out a sex toy! Give him a break! If I were a dude reading this copy, I would feel sad and embarrassed about using my hand to masturbate, and the emotion of “ashamed” isn’t one that usually drives me towards making a purchase.

A “Non-Binary Philosophy”:

On their “About Us” page, Satisfyer’s tag for one section is “We think non-binary.”

Satisfyer: At Satisfyer, we believe that sexuality is a creative expression experienced on a spectrum and each gender expression is infinite and non-binary.

Me: …okay….go on….

Satisfyer: You project what you feel and what you want to reveal. With that in mind, we use terms such as “him” and “her” as descriptors, to generally guide you towards the products that are perfect for you and your body—you are the artist and we are your medium!

Me: OH COME ON

SATISFYER. YOU CANNOT SAY YOU HAVE A “NON-BINARY PHILOSOPHY” AND THEN TAKE EVERY ACTION POSSIBLE TO ASSERT GODDAMN BINARY GENDER NORMS.

Seriously!!!

Assigned Vibrator At Clit: Needlessly Gendering Individual Products

Not only are Satisfyer’s product categories grouped under “Woman”, “Man”, and “For Couples” on their homepage, but EACH INDIVIDUAL PRODUCT is labeled as being suitable for “man” or “woman.” This isn’t just reinforcing binary gender norms, but it’s also unhelpful and uninformative. When I was writing my review of the Yummy Sunshine, Satisfyer’s website didn’t provide me with any information regarding if the toy was anal safe or not. Instead, the description just said:
Stimulation: Vaginal
Suitable for: Woman

Like, the Yummy Sunshine is a toy that hovers in that gray area of being anal safe or not. While it has a raised nub, that nub isn’t quite prominent enough to provide a safeguard against the toy being sucked into a butthole.

But, I gave Satisfyer a chance. I told myself, “Alright, well—perhaps this is their way of telling me that the Yummy Sunshine is NOT anal safe. Perhaps they’re saying “vaginal” because it’s only meant for vaginal stimulation.”

So, I opened up the product description for another toy, the Mono Flex, which is a rabbit vibrator that definitely has an external secondary shaft prominent enough to keep a toy from being gobbled up by a hungry asshole. I thought to myself, “maybe since this toy is clearly anal safe, it will say in the product description that it’s suitable for anal and vaginal play.”

Nope, I was wrong. This toy, housed in the “vibrators” category, has the same description:
Stimulation: Vaginal
Suitable for: Woman

Like, I’m not an anal enthusiast myself, but if you’re making sex toys, you HAVE to be aware that a lot of people out there are going to want to put things up their butts. If a toy is safe for anal, SAY IT. Maybe it doesn’t fit into your definition of what the toy should be used for, but as long as it doesn’t run the risk of physically harming your customer, who cares if they use a toy for anal??? What you SHOULD be worried about is labelling your product in an unclear way, like you’re doing right now. It takes so little effort to just add a category of “anal safe: yes or no?” in your greater product description.

Saying “anal safe” is a lot more useful than literally slapping a gender on every single fucking toy that you have. Literally, EVERY TOY is labeled as either suitable for men or women. Even in the anal toys section, where you could have just said “suitable for: anyone” you HAD TO SAY “suitable for: men and women.” But you’ve got that non-binary philosophy going, amirite?! Great job guys, you really knocked it out of the park!

B-But the SEO?:

I can understand including the descriptions “men” and “women” in certain parts of a sex toy website or a toy’s product description. I get it. You want to include the right keywords to drive SEO, and there will always be people searching things like “sex toys for men.” But the section of the product description that Satisfyer is including this “suitable for woman” nonsense DOES NOT HAVE SEO VALUE!!! There’s no calculated benefit to including this gendered language, and yet you’re doing it anyway!

I really don’t think there’s a need to label toys as “for men” or “for women” even from the angle of providing an informative product description. Most people know what they want out of a sex toy. All they really need to be told is if a toy is safe or not for anal—that’s it. Otherwise, the ways you can use a sex toy are extremely diverse.

I mean, hell, even the smaller vibrators Satisfyer offers are labeled just as “stimulation: clitoral” when even on a BASIC level you can realize that a small external vibrator can easily be touched to the head of a penis or nipples or any other erogenous zone for sexual gratification. Does the toy start beeping and flashing a red light if you stray too far away from the designated Clitoris Zone? Will it explode? If it vibrates, just call it a fucking vibrator and tell me if it can be safely used for anal or not. That’s all you need to do!

Here We Go Again: You Guessed It, “For Couples” Means “For Cisgender Heterosexual Couples”

When I visited the “For Couples” section, I wanted to be optimistic. I really did. I told myself, “Well, maybe they’ll give a nod to same sex couples. Maybe they’ll use neutral language. Maybe they’ll…”

Yeah, whatever, I was fucking foolish and wrong to be optimistic. For your viewing (dis)pleasure, here are some excerpts from the product description for the “Double Whale.”

• “…two powerful motors that beguile you and him with enchanting vibrations…”
• “…one shaft lies on the clitoris and massages your love button, while the other massages his G spot and his manhood…”
• “…the additional inserted shaft provides an exciting feeling of constriction for your partner…”
• “…her pearl and G-spot are stimulated together, while the inner shaft also stimulates his glans with sensual vibrations…”

While in a world where I really bury my head in the sand, I could say, “Well, they said HIS G-spot, so maybe they’re talking about a trans guy! Right???” But I’m pretty sure this is just a typo, given that a lot of the product descriptions on Satisfyer’s website are…kind of all over the place.

I’ll say it, I’ll be a bitch, they’re not written well and I’m not saying this as a snob. I’m saying this from the perspective of like, “Satisfyer, you forgot to include punctuation in a lot of your web copy.” Like…as in forgetting to include periods at the end of sentences. Please, I am once again suggesting that you hire me to fix your shit.

Anyway, while REALISTICALLY this “couple’s vibrator” does NOT have to be limited to penis in vagina sex, they sure are marketing it as a product exclusively for penis in vagina sex between cisgender people. They’re also marketing it for JUST TWO cisgender people! So don’t get any zesty polyamorous ideas, nope, none of that here!

For this product, they start one paragraph saying, “Are the two of you in the mood for stimulating experiences as a threesome?” and then follow that up with recommending this product. Again, a vibrator is not a person. It is not a recognizable member of a threesome. It’s not real. Would you be allowed to drive in the high occupancy vehicle lane if you had this vibrator riding in your car with you? No? Then it doesn’t count as a member of a fucking threesome either.

Endless Amounts of Cisheteronormativity:

The Double Whale is just one example I’m directly quoting, but out of the eight products listed in the “sex toys for couples” category, all except ONE product, the “Endless Joy,” explicitly emphasize that this product is “for her and him” in the copy. The product descriptions for SEVEN OUT OF EIGHT TOYS take EVERY opportunity to drive in the visual of HER clitoris and HIS penis going into HER vagina. Like, for fuck’s sake, is this really necessary????

The product description that was the most preposterous for me to read in the “for couples” category was for the “Endless Fun.” The description starts off calling it a “non-gendered device” that allows, “Creative play…for couples wanting to flex their imagination.”

AND THEN. RIGHT AFTER SAYING THIS. THE HEADER FOR THE NEXT SECTION SAYS “ENDLESS FUN FOR HER AND HIM”.

PLEASE!!!!

You know the word “anyone” exists, right??? You can say “endless fun for anyone”??? Or “endless fun for couples and singles”??? Or “endless fun for any couple”??? Holy fucking shit!

Like, this couple’s section is such a fucking shitshow. Look at all this shit:

• essentialist language that constantly emphasizes “penis is man, vagina is woman”
• same-sex couples were never ONCE mentioned or even alluded to
• apparently the only sex couples ever have is penis in vagina sex
• men have penises but no hands I guess
• Satisfyer somehow thinks everyone has access to a hot tub for partnered sex. Like, you don’t have any greater imagination for sexy couple’s scenarios? Maybe it’s because my partner and I are non-binary and have the same genitals. If only we had a he/him penis and a she/her clitoris…then we could finally have a hot tub magically appear in our home. Maybe one day.

As a final note on the couple’s section, Satisfyer, why did you make me read the words “her pearl” and “love button” and “manhood”? Take your bad romance novel writing and go home. Go home and think about what you’ve done.

God. I wrote all of that in one burst. I’m tired. I am weary of this nonsense.

Examples of Some Sexist Product Descriptions (Or, If You Say “Pearl” One More Fucking Time I’m Going to Throw You Into the Actual Ocean):

I’m just going to go wild for this next section and throw some badly gendered product description quotes at you:

The Satisfyer Love Breeze: “The compact shape means you can stow it away easily in your handbag!” (Ah yes, every woman must have a Purse.)

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin: “Looking good in an elegant tuxedo, he’s just waiting for you to bring him out for a date for two—and let him please you with tingling waves of pressure and an explosive orgasm.” (GOD EVEN WHEN IT’S A PRETEND PENGUIN THEY HAVE TO EMPHASIZE A DATE/SEX CAN ONLY INVOLVE TWO PEOPLE!!! TRULY, NO GROUP SEX ALLOWED!!!)

The Satisfyer Deluxe: “…truly spoils the ladies…”

The Satisfyer Number Two: “…it gently surrounds your pearl…” (S T O P)

The Satisfyer Pro 3+:  “The elegant design and rose gold accents of this clit vibrator also make it a perfect gift for your best friend…” (NO HOMO LMAO HEY MY BABETASTIC BESTIE GAL PAL GOT YOU A SEX TOY WE ARE DEFINITELY JUST BEST FRIENDS WHAT IS A LESBIAN I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING I KNOW YOU JUST LOVE ROSE GOLD!!!)

The Satisfyer Curvy 1+: “…(the design and colors) make it a companion you would want to show to everyone…” (What??? Me, showing the gals in accounting my sex toy that I brought to work in my fucking handbag I guess: Check it out ladies!!!!)

The Satisfyer Curvy 2+: “…(the app lets you) hand over the scepter to your partner…” (Okay, this one I actually like because it makes me feel like a dramatic warrior in the middle ages. A scepter? Fuck, badass, I’m Dungeons and Dragons now.)

The Satisfyer Love Triangle: “…your little friend…” (Okay, is it a triangle? Yes. Is it my friend??? No.)

The Satisfyer One Night Stand: A VIBRATOR THAT ONLY LASTS FOR NINETY FUCKING MINUTES??? SATISFYER, I’LL LET YOU CALL ME A WOMAN, BUT HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A FUCKING FOOL!!!! What the FUCK is the point of this!!!! “Lusty pleasure for beginners” I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU WHAT THE FUCK HOW MUCH SEX DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE IN ORDER TO GRADUATE FROM BEGINNER LEVEL TO HAVE A FUCKING SEX TOY THAT ISN’T DISPOSABLE!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I don’t care if it only costs $10! That’s $10 I could spend on Taco Bell! Begone from me!

The Satisfyer Sweet Treat: “…your pleasure pearl…” (STOP!!!!)

The Satisfyer Dark Desire: “…fits perfectly in your hand like a sexy remote control…stimulates your little pearl…your little playmate (referring to the vibrator)…” I am going to combust with rage from reading “little pearl” and “little playmate,” but “sexy remote control”? You know what, I can’t even be mad at that. If you’re calling something a sexy remote control, I can tell you’ve had a long day. I can tell you’re going through your own shit right now. It’s okay.)

The Satisfyer White Temptation: “…you can give the White Temptation to your best friend without hesitation or take it everywhere in your handbag…” (WHY do I keep giving this imaginary best friend my vibrators? Can I just give this person a gift card instead?)

The Satisfyer Magic Bunny: “…the voluminous clit stimulator rests on your clitoris…” (wow, no shit?)

The Satisfyer Men Heat Vibration: “Are you looking for some hot hours of lust—without complications?…for the modern man…a masculine design…soft love tunnel….”

The Satisfyer Men Vibration: “Sit back and enjoy sexual pleasure the modern way…simulate oral sex—just the way men like it.”

The Satisfyer Men Wand: The product description is really gender specific and also again unimaginative when it comes to describing potential partnered sex scenarios. But also what the fuck is up with this phrasing for the name? Men Wand??? What???

The Satisfyer Sparkling Darling: “…clandestine, sexy, and seductive….looks as good as your favourite lipstick.”

Are you drowning from the cringe yet? I know I am!

My Thoughts on Satisfyer’s Packaging:

When I got my first Satisfyer toy in the mail, the Yummy Sunshine, my partner and I were both put off immediately by the packaging.

As I mentioned in my review of the Yummy Sunshine, “The packaging is excruciatingly gendered, and covered with illustrations of seductive, conventionally attractive women. It makes me feel like this product is ‘not for me’ and just perpetuates a traditional image of womanhood and femininity that I am…super not a part of. “

To me, the design just screams WOMEN!! Feminine! Sex toy for WOMEN!!! Which, as someone who doesn’t feel like celebrating a particularly feminine identity on a daily basis, didn’t really leave me jumping for joy.

In case you’re new, I’m a nonbinary butch lesbian who considers cargo shorts an essential wardrobe staple and I only really “feel like a woman” when people are neglecting to take me seriously at my day job. To me, the design choice contributed to a huge feeling of alienation.

Why Do Brands Insist On Using “Sexy Women” as Marketing Tools?

Like, “Ah yes…I am not the sexy woman this sexy sex toy for women is meant to be marketed towards.” The fact that the artistic nudes rendered on the packaging are traditionally feminine as well as in possession of very conventionally idealized body types (aka very thin and in possession of Eurocentric features) is another factor that is a big negative for me in terms of packaging because of how profoundly alienating it is to people who…just don’t look like that. 

As a whole, I think marketing like this is ridiculous in the first place. I bought a vibrator to have an orgasm, not with the hopes that it will transform me into a sexy woman arching her back pensively.

And what makes it even worse is that she’s not even using the toy!!!! Isn’t the purpose of this packaging supposed to sell me on your sex toy? I know I bought it online, but if I were in a store, what good would seeing this illustration on the box do for me? Would it give me information about the toy? No! It would just make me feel like, “Oh, here’s another product saturated in tacky gendered marketing.”

You’re selling me the image of a woman posing in a sexy way for consumption, not selling me “This toy will make you have a fantastic orgasm.” Just show me the sex toy that I purchased! This isn’t a fucking Carl’s Jr.! I don’t need the sexy woman, just give me the goddamn object that I purchased! Which, need I clarify, IS NOT THE WOMAN! BECAUSE WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS! BUT APPARENTLY WE HAVEN’T REACHED THAT LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE IN SOCIETY YET!

Final Thoughts:

When I first looked at Satisfyer’s website, they seemed like they were off to a good start on so many levels. They took the basic first step of including diverse models, and they were considerate enough to make the focus of their product photos on the product itself. But really, this is kind of the bare minimum. While their product photos may not be laden with sexualized imagery, the packaging for the product still is. Ultimately, Satisfyer’s biggest failure is with their overwhelmingly gendered copy and the overabundance of gendered language that isn’t even necessary to describe or sell the product.

Has Satisfyer ripped off a ton of designs? Yes. Different people will argue to what extent Satisfyer is a malicious copycat versus a savior making affordable versions of high-end sex toys for us peasants to masturbate with. I have mixed feelings on this, honestly. While the Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine is definitely a knock-off of the Fun Factory G5 Tiger, as I said in my review, I do think the Yummy Sunshine has enough unique elements of its own to set it apart from the Tiger, even if in many aspects it still is a direct rip of the Tiger. I enjoy both toys, and the Yummy Sunshine in particular was a toy that I enjoyed so much, it makes it a little difficult for me to rip Satisfyer’s actual products to shreds. I think in the long run, it’s a good thing that Satisfyer has created safe, affordable, high-performing sex toys.

But, creating good toys isn’t an excuse for creating such terrible marketing copy. You can’t say your company has a “non-binary philosophy” and say that your products are for people of all genders and sexualities when you turn around and write copy that completely contradicts that. You can’t try and sell yourself on being progressive when you still use aggressively cissexist language and present heterosexual penis in vagina sex as the only way anyone could possibly use a “couple’s” product.

Bad Marketing Excludes Potential Customers and Hurts Sales:

It’s not even NECESSARY for Satisfyer to use this language. There’s nothing truly gained from acting like all women carry purses and wear lipstick, or implying that same-sex couples wouldn’t have any interest in a sex toy. By limiting product descriptions to heterosexual situations and cisgendered language, Satisfyer is limiting its customer base.

Two cisgender lesbians aren’t going to want a toy that implies one of them has to have a penis in order to get any enjoyment or value out of using it. Two cisgender men aren’t going to want a toy that implies one of them has to have a vagina or clitoris to use it. No one who’s interested in anal is going to purchase a toy that doesn’t have a clear label on it indicating if it’s anal safe or not. Labeling a toy as “for men” or “for women” doesn’t say anything about HOW a toy can realistically be used. Instead, it forces the company’s idea of WHO they think should use a certain toy onto an audience of potential customers.

Non-binary people, apparently, shouldn’t purchase anything at all from Satisfyer’s website. After all, the product descriptions only say that it’s suitable for “women” or “men.” If you’re not a man or a woman, tough luck! A trans man isn’t going to want an air pulse toy that emphasizes femininity and a woman’s “precious pearl.” A trans woman isn’t going to want a toy she can insert her penis into if that toy markets itself as being “for men” and “masculine” and “what men want.”

Also, making sex toys “for men” look like gamer chairs is really, really not the pinnacle of design innovation.

Where Can Satisfyer Go From Here?

By using limiting language rooted in gender essentialism, heteronormativity, and sexist stereotypes, Satisfyer limits the range of customers they could be appealing to. Changing the language in their copy honestly wouldn’t even be that difficult. Speaking as a professional copywriter, it would be a project and take some time, yeah, but it’s not like it would cost a million dollars and take twenty years to finish. A lot of the copy honestly doesn’t have that much wrong with it, but the unnecessary gendered bullshit drags the entire brand down.

There’s a phrase I think about a lot, I remember seeing it on Twitter somewhere. It goes, “Don’t criticize someone’s appearance unless it’s something they can fix in less than five minutes.” So for example, if you think someone is “ugly” you should keep your opinion to yourself, but if they have spaghetti sauce all over their face it’s fine to tell them so they can wipe it off.

Satisfyer has a lot of spaghetti sauce all over its face right now—it’s a problem, but it can be fixed.

It can be changed.

And I really do hope that a brand that’s at least paid lip service to the idea of a “non-binary philosophy” would be interested in changing their marketing copy and brand imagery for the better.

I don’t intend for this post to be interpreted by Satisfyer—if they’re reading it—to be some petty little no-name blogger having a hissy fit. I would hope Satisfyer takes it more like a review from a consultant. I’m not saying, “No one should ever buy products from Satisfyer again,” I’m saying, “Change your marketing strategy and copy so that more people will WANT to buy your products.”

Anyway…after over 5,000 words, I think I’ve said enough on this topic. I hope you enjoyed reading my marketing rant!

Disclaimer: ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN