Svakom Alice Review: An “Intelligent” Rabbit Style Vibrator?
For three years, the Svakom Alice was not only the highest quality sex toy I had ever owned, but it was also the only sex toy I owned…period. I finally got around to upgrading in early 2020, but when starting this blog, I knew I wanted to review my existing collection of sex toys in the chronological order I received them. So, we’re starting off with the oldest!
Considering where I had started, the Alice was a huge upgrade. However, upgrading from a toy that’s a 1/10 to a toy that’s a 5/10 still ultimately leaves you with just a 5/10 toy. Ultimately, a 5/10 is how I would rate the Alice.
Why Did I Get The Svakom Alice?
The Svakom Alice is a small, slim, rabbit-style rechargeable vibrator that had the honor of being “my first actually expensive sex toy” when I bought it in 2017—here, “expensive” meaning “more than $30.”
Prior to purchasing this toy, I had gone through several bad phases of sex toy ownership that ranged from “toxic toys that delivered bad orgasms and high risks of infection” to “this toy is so bad that it literally has to be thrown away” to “this toy is safe, but my orgasms still suck.”
When I purchased it, I knew I wanted a vibrator that was rechargeable (I was beyond sick of dealing with batteries in the current vibrator I owned) and a vibrator that could offer dual stimulation. At the time, I believed that rabbit style vibrators were what I wanted, although currently I’m less interested in them.
I paid about $60 for the Alice when I bought it, but I wouldn’t recommend paying that much for this vibrator now. There’s nothing really special about it, and its vibrations are too weak and buzzy for me, personally, to want to recommend this vibrator to anyone.
The main marketing feature of this vibrator is an “Intelligent Mode” that claims to be able to recreate “THE WHOLE SEX PROCESS!!!,” but this “feature” is more like a joke. It’s intelligent enough to know how to make me profoundly annoyed in 30 seconds or less. But “Intelligent Mode” wouldn’t be able to make me orgasm even if I let it run for 30 minutes.
Why I Didn’t Upgrade Sooner:
The reason I used the Alice for so long was mainly because I didn’t have any real frame of reference to compare it to. When I bought it, I didn’t know what high quality, rumbly vibrations felt like. Because it was more expensive and felt better than anything I had tried up to that point, I incorrectly assumed it reflected a gold standard of sex toy quality.
I also leaned on the Alice a lot due to its ability to be used while charging. Because I’ve got ADHD and I’m constantly exhausted from my day job, I often neglect to charge my vibrators. This inevitably leads to disappointment when I finally get an opportunity to use them.
The Alice was previously my answer to this problem, because it would allow me to at least orgasm, even if it wasn’t a great one, but since getting a Magic Wand Rechargeable I have absolutely no need for the Alice anymore. It’s also far too expensive of a sex toy considering how poor its vibration quality is, and there are other $60 vibrators that perform significantly better.
Svakom Alice: Positive Features and General Overview
I’ll go down the list of positives for the Alice before I tackle the negatives. The Alice is a body-safe sex toy made from silicone and ABS plastic. The texture is very smooth, and it doesn’t really pick up dust or lint. Since I live with a furry little creature (cat), this is always a bonus.
The Alice is short and slim—the official measurements for this toy list it as having a girth of 1.2”, which is about two of my fingers, and a total insertable length of just 3.3.” I have always liked the size of this toy–its small size has meant getting it in has never been a struggle for me. I just wish it had better vibrations to accompany the convenient size and shape.
The main body of the Alice is very firm and has no give, but the shorter external arm is slightly squishier and relatively easy to jiggle around. In theory, the shape of this vibrator makes it safe for anal use, although I haven’t personally attempted using it anally.
The Alice comes packaged with a gray storage pouch, a charging cable, and its instruction manual. This vibrator is available in pastel pink or dark purple, because those are of course the only two colors Allowed for Women (™). Overall, Svakom’s website and marketing vision is still a gender-normative heterosexual nightmare world despite its minimalist design. But, at least the packaging wasn’t offensive to look at.
In the manual, it says it takes 1.5 hours to fully charge the Alice’s battery, after which it can provide 2 hours of total use. As mentioned in the introduction, it can also be used while charging, which is why I kept this toy in rotation for so long.
The Alice has a splashproof rating, but this toy is not waterproof. The text on Svakom’s website is kind of confusing, stating “the toy is splashproof with IPX6 level. IPX6 waterproof means it is protected from powerful water streams.” Looking up the IPX6 rating, Wikipedia clarifies that it means the toy can withstand powerful jets of water, but not immersion. Basically, it’s fine to use this toy in the shower and wash it under running water in the sink, but don’t submerge it for any amount of time.
Controls and Settings:
The Alice offers five vibration intensity options and allows the user to control the toy’s internal and external arms separately. The toy is turned on using the center button and it automatically starts off at the third intensity level. Adjusting the intensity level is done by pressing the up or down button once, depending on if you wish to increase or decrease the vibration intensity.
There are four total vibration patterns. Users have the ability to concentrate pattern settings on only the internal arm, only the external arm, or both arms simultaneously. The vibration intensity of each pattern can be adjusted, meaning you can experience a pattern at either a high vibration intensity or a lower vibration intensity if you wish.
The options are as follows:
- A kind of undulating wave that cycles between its highest and lowest point within a 1 second interval
- Heartbeat type pattern that goes “baTHUNK baTHUNK baTHUNK”
- Moderate pulsating pattern
- Rapid pulsating pattern
This vibrator in theory offers great options for users that prefer a greater range of customization in vibrations/patterns. Unfortunately, its vibration quality isn’t good enough to make the customization options worthwhile.
The Alice turns off by pressing and holding the center button, but it does take a second or two to shut off, so be aware of that if you want a sex toy you can shut off immediately.
If you press and hold the center “S” button, you will activate the “Intelligent Mode,” which…is terrible. I’ll get into more detail in the next section.
Svakom Alice: Negative Traits
I would describe the Alice as more of a “buzzy” vibrator than a “rumbly” vibrator. I’ve had experiences in the past where my clit would get too numbed out by the Alice’s buzziness, rendering me sore, annoyed, and unable to orgasm at all. In my experience, the first and second vibration intensity settings are so weak that they’re not worth using at all. The higher settings are more powerful, but the vibrations become increasingly buzzy at higher settings as well.
The Alice retails for about $60 on Spectrum Boutique, although it’s listed for $90 on Svakom’s own website, which is ridiculous. Let me tell you, if you spent $25 for this vibrator, it would be okay. It would be sufficient. It wouldn’t be great, but you’d at least have something that could provide okay orgasms most of the time. But $60??? $90??? Absolutely fucking not. I wish I hadn’t paid $60 for this back in 2017, but I hadn’t taken enough time to research other options and I settled on this as “good enough” at the time.
Ridiculous Sex Toy Marketing Claims
On Svakom’s website, the product description says it’s so quiet that “you can use it wherever you like without being noticed!” This is…not true. It’s moderately quiet, but I wouldn’t describe it as being THAT quiet, especially since it takes on an electric toothbrush sound at higher settings.
And what does this claim even imply? That I’m going to bust out this vibrator waiting in line at the grocery store and no one will notice??
If you’re using this in the privacy of your own room, you’re probably okay, but if you share your room with someone else and you don’t want them to know you’re using this vibrator, you’ll need to wait for them to leave.
I’m mostly filing the noise comment under negative traits because it’s an example of the greater bad marketing that plagues Svakom. Overall, Svakom’s website tells me they think women are all very feminine and also too stupid to figure out their own orgasms. The only solution to this, of course, is for Svakom’s incredible technology to swoop in and save the day! This “incredible technology” is responsible for the Alice’s worst feature by far, which is the “Svakom Intelligent Mode.”
“Intelligent Mode” (Spoilers: this sex toy is not very intelligent)
The main marketing feature of the Alice is the “Svakom Intelligent Mode” which, according to Alice’s description on Svakom’s website, “highly imitates the whole sex process from the foreplay to climax.” Yeah, it…doesn’t do this, unless you’re having profoundly bad sex. “Intelligent Mode” is not intelligent at all and I think it’s a huge waste of time, I’ve only even bothered with it for the sake of this review. It’s weak, inconsistent, erratic, and boring. That’s the best word I have for it–boring.
Never once has the “Intelligent Mode” resulted in an orgasm for me—it’s never even been able to hold my attention. To me, “Intelligent Mode” has only ever been an inconvenient mistake that I have to correct if I wind up accidentally pressing the wrong button while using this vibrator.
It would be more accurate if they called it “Random Mode” or something because there’s truly nothing intelligent at all about it, and I think it’s a ridiculous claim to try and say that it can imitate sex. It’s also condescending to act like a vibrator with “Intelligent Mode” is somehow more knowledgeable about what its user wants than the actual user.
It’s not intelligent, it’s just randomized—and poorly at that—so call it what it is. Maybe there’s a vibrator out there that can somehow track my pulse or internal temperature or some other biological measurement and adjust itself based on that to deliver me MAXIMUM PLEASURE!!!! or whatever, but this isn’t it.
Also, my most important biological measurement for maximum sexual pleasure is my own brain, actually. So fuck off and let me curate my own vibrator experience instead of trying to tell me what I supposedly want with your “intelligent mode.”
SVAKOM ALICE REVIEW: FINAL THOUGHTS
This vibrator isn’t worth $60, and it absolutely isn’t worth $90. If you want a vibrator you can use while it’s charging, $60 will buy you a Magic Wand Original. For a vibrator that can be used both internally and externally, $60 could alternatively get you a Pillow Talk Sassy. Both of these vibrators have significantly better vibration quality than the Alice.
The Alice served me for three years, it’s true. But during those three years, I didn’t have the motivation to try and find anything better. If I could go back in time, I definitely would’ve upgraded from this vibrator way sooner.
You can get a Svakom Alice of your own here at Spectrum Boutique!
Disclaimer: I purchased the Svakom Alice with my own money. Affiliate links have been used in this post.